It’s Hell out there …the rules have all been thrown away

My journey started badly; the damn boom gate wouldn’t open and required a specialist person to come armed with a very large tool kit to get it working again. I could have detoured around it, I suppose, and hindsight is wonderful. But this should have warned of the portent of things to come.

For example, at the first intersection, as you are supposed to, I gave way to the right to a young lady obviously in a hurry as she blasted through. Sadly, the one behind me wasn’t watching AND was on her mobile phone. Luckily, the bang was minor so damage done. Perhaps a small change to the wheel alignment, but that shouldn’t be too serious.

All was smooth for a while and then along came the aggressive type weaving in and out making others screech to a halt to avoid collision. She was swerving from lane to lane, continuously on the wrong side causing even more consternation but not appearing to take a blind bit of notice. I normally give somewhat the benefit of the doubt in these situations – you never really know what may be the circumstance of the other person – but an emergency, here? I don’t think so.

And gophers. I detest these things. I don’t mean those diggin’ critters that habitat the ground in the United States of Americaland, but the motorised scooter thingies the elderly putt- putt around in at supposedly less than 8 kph. As they are electrically based, you can’t hear them coming and I have yet to hear so much as a cow bell let alone its horn.

The thing that bugs me is that they seemingly feel they own the highways and byways, sitting squarely in the middle at the hated less than 8kph not allowing anyone through, and seemingly impervious to the seething queue that builds up behind.

Then you have the ‘cruiser’; the person that ambles along looking at everything as they go and then suddenly stopping for no apparent reason before starting again. And repeating the process.

Finally at the last stop before your final destination, you encounter the person who realises they have forgotten something and needs to go back. Of course they are the one in front of the one in front you and therefore much reversing and three-point turning is necessary to make enough room for them to get out.

Well you thought it was finally, because the exit charge for the one in front is being paid by a dozen credit cards and discount vouchers, and that person has miscalculated and is still 20c short so computer says “no!”

Finally, the journey is over and you can breathe a sigh of relief. You HAVE survived. Until next time.

Shopping in a Coles or Woolies can be hell.